YTSEJAM Digest 4895 Today's Topics: 1) Maybe... when the list moves... by "email_address_removed" 2) God, It's all happening! by Kurt Hampton 3) Re: YTSEJAM digest 4894 by email_address_removed 4) Yet another $10 off at CDNow by "Trevor W. Hoit" 5) Iron Maiden / Question for any English 'jammer by Big Swifty 6) star wars abridged script by "Trevor W. Hoit" 7) Planet X by Luke Bateup 8) Savatage "Holding Back The Storm" by "Volodya" 9) Lots of free music by "Gallop, Neil" 10) Scarred Records by AlexandroTalamini 11) help please? by "Sasha C." 12) Hair metal returns to Cincinnati!!!!!!! by John Parks 13) Re: Show me the music by Jon Parmet 14) Re: Hair metal returns to Cincinnati!!!!!!! by Frank Benenati 15) Iron Maiden News - NDTC by "Gilberto Bressan Junior" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Wed, 9 Jun 1999 23:49:28 -0500 From: "email_address_removed" To: Subject: Maybe... when the list moves... Message-ID: <003601beb2fc$a8e909e0$fc19fea9@mattymo> when one would sub to the new list when skadz get it all setup... the majordomo can send out some of the groundrules... like "no top XX lists" "no surveys" "no pissing off ptacek" "questions about audio... ask al" or stuff like that :-) np: ST Lights Camera Revolution ~Matt moshpit.mattymo.com ~~~WORT Metal mattymo.com ~~~~my homepage email_address_removed ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Jun 1999 00:12:30 -0500 (CDT) From: Kurt Hampton To: Multiple recipients of list Subject: God, It's all happening! Message-ID: yo, Just been to the megadeth site. Risk is slated for Aug.31 Hmm... New Def Leppard now, LTE2 in a week, new Queensryche Sept 14th, DT in October, It's going to be a VERY busy fall indeed! Kurt ******~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****** @----'--,--- ******~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****** "I remember Now" "Rodney King, what the hell is that supposed to mean? He's that guy." Airheads ************************************************************************ ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Jun 1999 01:41:22 EDT From: email_address_removed To: email_address_removed Subject: Re: YTSEJAM digest 4894 Message-ID: In a message dated 6/9/99 8:22:43 PM Pacific Daylight Time, email_address_removed writes: << Are you high? >> Im always high!!! -Esh http://www.phosphenes.com ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Jun 1999 00:56:31 -0700 From: "Trevor W. Hoit" To: "'John'" , "'Steve-burien prog guy'" , Subject: Yet another $10 off at CDNow Message-ID: http://cdnow.com/from=red:x:cdn:mm expires 6/23 These guys have made no money off me!!! ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Jun 1999 02:57:46 -0500 From: Big Swifty To: email_address_removed Subject: Iron Maiden / Question for any English 'jammer Message-ID: I'm currently reading "Run To The Hills," a biography of Iron Maiden. This is one fantastic book. I found it a Books A Thousa...er, Books A Million while browsing. It's a great book written by Mick Wall, who might be a recognizable name to someone more Maiden-educated than myself. I've got a question for any English 'jammer who cares enough to help me out. Several times in the book, a member of Maiden will refer to someone as a "punter." What is a punter? I'm completely in the dark here. Any Maiden fan will surely enjoy this book. I'm about two hundred pages into it, and Bruce has just joined the band :) Feels kind of current, in a strange way :) Take care, and thanks in advance, Mark Peters email_address_removed ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Jun 1999 01:34:23 -0700 From: "Trevor W. Hoit" To: "'Ytsejam'" , "'Freaks'" Subject: star wars abridged script Message-ID: The following is a humerous version of The Phantom Menace. It's kinda long and gives away the story, so if you haven't seen it, delete now. STAR WARS: THE PHANTOM MENACE: THE ABRIDGED SCRIPT By Rod Hilton FADE IN: INT. SPACESHIP LIAM NEESON: It is vitally important we enter trade negotiations with the federation. EWAN MCGREGOR: I agree. This one planet and how it trades with other planets is certainly an important enough topic to be the entire plot of a Star Wars film. INT. SPACESHIP - MAIN DECK EVIL ALIEN: Werr. What wirr we do now? My evil, obviousry Asian race must prevair. I wirr not face de Jedi. Send de droid. INT. SPACESHIP - BACK TO THE JEDI A droid enters. LIAM NEESON: I sense a disturbance in the force. EWAN MCGREGOR: Well, shit. Suddenly, numerous pieces of CGI enter and begin attacking the Jedi. The Jedi use the high concentration of midichlorians in their bodies to use the force to destroy the CGI. They run outside. EXT. NABOO They run until they smack into some more CGI. JAR JAR: Who might you be? LIAM NEESON: (staring in the general direction of Jar Jar, but not really staring at him) I am a Jedi. There are bad things coming. Take me to your homeland. JAR JAR: I see. That is quite interesting. I will guide you to the land from which I have come. Suddenly, GEORGE LUCAS realizes the Jar Jar toys aren't selling well enough. JAR JAR (cont'd) Oh! Meesa sorry! Meesa ment to saysa: Weesa can go back to Jamaica mon, okeyday? EWAN MCGREGOR: (staring at something right above Jar Jar) Good. Do you have a hotel room for me and Liam? We have..uh..Jedi business to attend to. JAR JAR: Weesa can smokesa some ganja, mon. AUDIENCE: Die. Die, Jar Jar. Nobody likes you. INT. SPACESHIP - MAIN DECK The queen appears over some kind of thing which appears to be better in technology than the kinds of things in the original trilogy. NATALIE PORTMAN: I am the queen. You've gone too far this time. I will tell the senate and you will be in a lot of trouble. EVIL ALIEN: I'm so sorry, Amidala. NATALIE PORTMAN: No, no, I'm Padme now. EVIL ALIEN: I thought when in the makeup, you were the queen. NATALIE PORTMAN: No, I'm whoever is playing the queen at the time. The voice changes don't help you figure this out? EVIL ALIEN: Stop trying to confoose me! Droids, capture the queen.. or Padme.. er.. just capture everyone! LIAM and EWAN and, fuck, JAR JAR too take NATALIE PORTMAN and other members of her staff onto a ship and they escape. They go to Tatooine. INT. TATOOINE - SOME SHOP WHERE JAKE LLOYD IS HELD SLAVE JAKE LLOYD: Hi there! Golly I'm cute. NATALIE PORTMAN: You certainly are, little boy. JAKE LLOYD: I'm the only one disturbed by the fact that I'm gonna bone you in episode two? LIAM NEESON: Jake, I need you to have a pod race so I can get the parts I need and free you. JAKE'S MOM: No, I won't allow him to pod race. He'll get hurt. (pause) Ok, I will. Nevermind. Good luck. They pod race. It looks really COOL. GEORGE LUCAS: (attempting subtlety) Oh! Look! There's a video game of this scene... uh.. buy it! Hey, I had to sacrifice a part of my grand vision for these movies to include a part that could be turned into a game, so buy it or I'll do it even more in episode 2. JAKE wins! He has to leave his mother, which will become very important in the next movie. He also has to leave his protocol droid, THREEPIO. AUDIENCE: He built C-3PO? Why wasn't this ever mentioned in the original trilogy? GEORGE LUCAS: Because I just made it up. Speaking of stuff I'm just making up, how do you like the midichlorian bullshit I pulled out of my ass? They all get into their ship and go to Coruscant. INT. CORUSCANT - JEDI COUNCIL LIAM NEESON: I want to train this boy. YODA: Nope. Sorry. Too old the boy is. Clouded his future seems. Vague my worries are. LIAM NEESON: Well, he is the chosen one. He will bring balance to the force. I'm training him. SAMUEL L. JACKSON: Yoda told you no, muthafucka. What the fuck is wrong with you, bitchass? I'll fuckin' kill you! I'm gonna be a fuckin bad ass in the next two fuckin movies, you know. My toy has a fuckin lightsaber. LIAM NEESON: I'm going to go over your head and train him myself, then. So there. He exits. INT. GALACTIC SENATE MEETING IAN MCDIARMID: Damn I'm evil. Suddenly, we see E.T! This does not make the film HYPER- CUTESEY like Return of the Jedi, but CLEVER. EXT. NABOO NATALIE PORTMAN: I am either the queen or Padme now. Regardless, your cheesy-looking race of annoying, unrealistic characters need to ally with our badly acting race of creatures so we can capture this one guy. BOSS NASS: One guy? The climax of this film revolves entirely around us capturing one, pretty insignificant guy? Doesn't that make this whole thing kinda pointless? NATALIE PORTMAN: No more pointless than the fact that this entire film revolves around taxes on trade and the cutting off of one, pathetic little planet half-filled with annoying creatures. They go after the bad guy or whatever. Who cares? Finally DARTH MAUL shows up for a prolonged fight sequence. Darth wears black boots, a black cloak, black shirt, has a red lightsaber, wears red and black face paint, and has horns. He is EVIL. Meanwhile, the Naboo people go after this one insignificant guy and we really don't care. Meanwhile, the Gungans go against a bunch of droids and we really don't care except we want the Gungans to die. Meanwhile, Anakin takes off into space to join the space-battle, which is mostly over by the time he arrives. We care a little bit. INT. SOME KIND OF THINGY WITH SOME RED FORCE FIELDS MAUL, LIAM, and EWAN all have a huge lightsaber battle which has had a lot of effort put into the choreography and is thousands of times better than any other lightsaber battle in a Star Wars film. AUDIENCE: Whoa! This is really cool! Suddenly, we go back to one of the other three stupid battles going on at the time. Eventually, we return to the good one. DARTH MAUL: (menacing as hell) Grrr. Eventually, MAUL stabs LIAM, which is very surprising, especially to those of us who bought the film score which has a song whose title gives away the ending. He then kicks EWAN into a shaft. EWAN grabs onto something on the side and holds on for dear life. EWAN MCGREGOR: Well, you certainly are an experienced fighter and there is little question you could kick pretty much anyone's ass. DARTH MAUL (cont'd): Muahahahaha. Slowly, EWAN uses the force to grab LIAM'S lightsaber, jump up out of the shaft, over MAUL, press the button on the saber, and slice MAUL in half while MAUL stands there like an idiot and does nothing at all. He dies. EXT. SPACE JAKE LLOYD: Whoaaaaa! I'm in space! Now this is pod racing! Yipee! Uh oh! Man, I'm so cute. JAKE goes into a hangar, where the main reactor for the ship is kept. He accidentally blows it to SHIT. JAKE LLOYD (cont'd): Uh oh! I better leave! Let's leave Artoo! They exit quickly. The ship explodes, which stops all the droids and just makes everything great, because it's always enjoyable when a serious conflict is resolved with a slapstick accident. EXT. THE STREETS OF NABOO The Gungans are dancing and such, still alive. A huge party ensues. AUDIENCE: Wow! Watching this party and all this celebration has convinced me that the tiny, pathetic problem that has been taken care of is actually really significant! Hooray! Suddenly, the AUDIENCE realizes that behind all the mindless celebration and kiddie cartoon bullshit, what actually happened was the future-emperor has actually manipulated everything, come into great power, and that one tiny problem has actually been resolved, but thousands more have been created. GEORGE LUCAS: Three years, suckers. I'd make them come out sooner, but I work very hard on my films, as I am an independent filmmaker due to my disgust with Hollywood's commercialism. Now go buy some Star Wars toys! END ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Jun 1999 07:56:44 +1000 From: Luke Bateup To: ytsejam Subject: Planet X Message-ID: Hello, After seeing a Virgil Donati clinic here in Australia not so long ago and reading the praises for Planet X here on the jam, I just can't wait for CDNow to get the pre-order thing going. If someone can get their hands on a copy of the CD can they please email me as I would be more than willing to send them a money order so they can purchase it for me. Cheers, Luke. ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Jun 1999 13:17:32 +0200 From: "Volodya" To: Subject: Savatage "Holding Back The Storm" Message-ID: <000101beb332$d605e5c0$7ca424c3@default> Hello, Follow the link below to check out the double CD live set from Savatage called "Holding Back The Strom". On the site you will find all the necessary info such as the track-listing, cover artwork and two songs in MP3 format : "Sirens" and the acoustic version of "Not What You See". Take care, Volodya. ___________________________________________________ OPEN ALL NIGHT [ OAN ] RECORDS Check out Gamma Ray / Iron Savior double CD live set http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Mezzanine/9326/oan.htm e-mail: oanrec@club-internet.fr ICQ number: 19517742 ___________________________________________________ ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Jun 1999 13:53:39 +0200 From: "Gallop, Neil" To: "'email_address_removed'" Subject: Lots of free music Message-ID: Hi all I often see questions here on the list asking how band ABC or band XYZ sounds. Well here's a site that has lots of tracks by lots of bands that are often mentioned here, including the following: Iced Earth Skinlab Lacuna Coil The Gatehring Blind Guardian Angra Opeth Theatre Of Tragedy Moonspell Tiamat Alastis Samael Sentenced Eyehategod Strapping Young Lad Just point you browser at the following address and off you go http://www.centurymedia.com/framers/in_audio.cfm Lots of stuff for everybody and some of my personal favourites. Have fun downloading. Oh, and more reviews on the way soon, including the amazing album "Ringmaster" by Las Cruces - pure doom and nothing to do with Tolkien. stay safe and happy listening Neil Gallop (email_address_removed) Currently playing: Paradise Lost - Host ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Jun 1999 09:05:04 -0300 From: AlexandroTalamini To: "'email_address_removed'" Subject: Scarred Records Message-ID: Hi all, Does anybody knows what's happening to Scarred Records's web page?? I've been trying to log on to it for over a week and nothing. Alex Curitiba, Brazil ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Jun 1999 15:32:06 +0200 From: "Sasha C." To: "Ytsejam Mailing List" Subject: help please? Message-ID: <000701beb345$b0d643e0$1be91dc3@sasa> hi! i was just wondering if anyone knows where could i buy Dream Theater t-shirts on-line. Actually i was at the music store and asked the salesman if he could get me a Dream Theater "Awake" t-shirt. And he said that he can only get me Touring into infinity t-shirt. and i don`t even know what does it look like? so where could i find a picture of it? i just spend an hour surfing around looking for that... had no luck. thanx in advance "Lifting shadows off a dream Once broken She can turn a drop of water Into an ocean..." John Myung of Dream Theater ["Lifting Shadows Off A Dream"] email_address_removed.hr ICQ UIN - 6098813 ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Jun 1999 07:27:20 -0700 (PDT) From: John Parks To: ytsejam dream theater Subject: Hair metal returns to Cincinnati!!!!!!! Message-ID: Well last night I was able to witness something I never ever thought I would get to see. L.A. Guns, Great White, Ratt and Poison all on the same bill. And ya know what...? The Freekin rocked Riverbend (a great outdoor venue btw) Highlights of the show: Getting to see the song Once Bitten Twice Shy performed live, Ratt in general, C.C. Deville ( some of you might not think he is that great of a guitarist but he really knows how to work a crowd) The icing on the cake though came from two of the most perfect women dancing in the row right in front my friend and I. All my boyhood fantasies came to life last night, seeing two chicks strip (ok so they didn't really strip but it was close enough) to the music of Poison. All hail the return of Hair Metal!!! NP: Jewel-Spirit === John Parks email_address_removed Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. -Albert Einstein- _________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Jun 1999 14:34:35 +0000 From: Jon Parmet To: email_address_removed Subject: Re: Show me the music Message-ID: Andrew wrote: > DTC: I just received LTE in the mail and I only have ONE complaint: It's > too SHORT! Does anybody else agree here? [...] I felt the same way about Age Of Impact. And that one doesn't have an equvialent to Three Minute Warning. The first time I heard it was at a friend's house and when Bozzio goes nutz there during the outro and then there was no 'next' song, I went "that's it?" Damn!! :) Regards, Jon ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Jun 1999 10:33:46 -0400 From: Frank Benenati To: email_address_removed Subject: Re: Hair metal returns to Cincinnati!!!!!!! Message-ID: John Parks wrote: > > The icing on the cake though came from two of the most > perfect women dancing in the row right in front my friend > and I. All my boyhood fantasies came to life last night, > seeing two chicks strip (ok so they didn't really strip but > it was close enough) to the music of Poison. All hail the > return of Hair Metal!!! > It's beginning to look like a perfect world again, isn't it? :) -mojoman -- /\ /\ \_\/_/ / _ _ \ |\ \(*)(*)/ /| #-----------------OOO- \oo/--OOO------------# # Frank Benenati - email_address_removed # # "Some of the nicest people are dogs" # # - Richard Dean Anderson # #__________________________ooo______________# ooo (_) (_) ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 11 Jun 1999 12:41:02 -0300 From: "Gilberto Bressan Junior" To: Subject: Iron Maiden News - NDTC Message-ID: <000f01beb420$d157d4e0$1758d3c8@califano> Iron Maiden has just annouced the producer for their new album... Kevin Shirley Let the flames begin... Gilberto ------------------------------ End of YTSEJAM Digest 4895 **************************